Overcoming the Grief of Selling a Family Business

• Selling a family business is an emotional journey that mirrors the stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depres­sion, and ultimately acceptance, as former owners grapple with the loss of identity and purpose tied to their role
• Achieving acceptance opens the door to new possibilities, such as reinventing oneself through advisory roles, philanthropy, community service, or new ventures, while emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and intentional effort in shaping the next chapter
• Navigating this transition is best supported by open family communication and profession­al guidance, ensuring financial security, continuity, and harmo­nious planning for multigenera­tional wealth and future goals

You’ve spent much of your life building a successful family business—devoting days and even nights to ensuring that revenue flourishes, clients are happy, and operations proceed seamlessly. You may have even missed family occasions and milestones because you needed to be at work on high-priority projects or deadlines. And now, after decades of blood, sweat, and tears, you are rewarded with a significant amount of liquidity in the form of sale proceeds. After the deal is signed, sealed, and delivered and the champagne fizzles, you’re ready to experience the freedom and fairy tale ending you’d envisioned. But do you?

In the wake of the initial euphoria that may include checking off some bucket list items, a litany of discretionary purchases, and a calendar that is chock full of leisure time, the newfound silence may be deafening and a wave of complex emotions is sure to set in.

What on its face was solely a financial transaction is actually much more, and it often comes with a great deal of emotional upheaval. With your identity no longer linked to the role of “business owner,” the loss can be as devastating as the death of a loved one. And, in a sense, it is. The “baby” you may have birthed and raised to adulthood is no more and, along with it, a sense of purpose. The transition is similar to the journey of grief, as outlined by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross,¹ starting with:

Above all, it is important not to judge your feelings, but to acknowledge and communicate openly about them. Eventually, you will find a sense of peace and be able to plan for the future. And, oh, the places you’ll go.

... another opens. With acceptance comes freedom and the excitement of reinventing yourself, to live your strengths and values, and celebrate yourself in a whole new way. Throughout your grief journey, hopefully you will have undergone a significant period of self-reflection to help guide you on the road to what will be. Achieving joy in this brave new world will require the same level of effort and intention you employed during the inception and growth of the business just sold. But this commensurate effort is directed in a different way—one that elevates self-reflection with purpose. As you recalibrate, a number of possibilities may emerge, such as:

• Serving as an advisory or fiduciary business board member for another firm or as a lead facilitator or champion on developing a family investment committee—one that keeps the family engaged and informed on the newly achieved liquidity
• Prioritizing philanthropic missions and establishing a donor-advised fund or private foundation
• Becoming an active member of a venture capitalist group or the lead on a family bank that explores the next business opportunity
• Speaking to or consulting with industry organizations that provide some relational attachment to the former business
• Fulfilling a public service or other role in the community that you probably never had time for when you were a business owner (e.g., school board or city council) 

Professional counselors can be helpful as you process your feelings and continue your post-sale transition. To assure your continuing financial security buoyed by your increased liquidity, engage an advisory team with financial and trust and estate planners, tax specialists, attorneys, and investment managers.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended as an offer or solicitation for the sale of any financial product or service. It is not designed or intended to provide financial, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice since such advice always requires consideration of individual circumstances. If professional advice is needed, the services of a professional advisor should be sought.

Note that tax, estate planning, and financial strategies require consideration for suitability of the individual, business, or investor, and there is no assurance that any strategy will be successful.

Wilmington Trust is not authorized to and does not provide legal or tax advice. Our advice and recommendations provided to you are illustrative only and subject to the opinions and advice of your own attorney, tax advisor, or other professional advisor.

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